My Mini Facebook Sabbatical and Kinda, Sorta an Explantion

Last Friday, I posted this letter to The Real Husband. He must have absorbed it through some kind of brain-to-brain, computer generated osmosis because that same day, I came home to a clean house. Throughout the weekend, he was helpful and more involved. In all honesty, I was a little taken aback. Of course, I was happy, but I wondered about his sudden change.

I had my answer a few days later. He told me he realized what an ass he’s been. He said he finally wants to be a more involved husband and dad. I listened patiently. I tried my darndest not to yell, “What the fuck took so long!”

This happened the same day I decided to log off Facebook for a few days in an effort to regain some clarity on where my priorities lie. I needed to put some things into perspective. On top of Real Husband’s desire to be more present, he poured out his heart to me and let me know some things he’d been going through.

I won’t go into detail because it is a far too private matter. Maybe in five years I’ll be able to blog about, but for now I cannot divulge our problems. Just know they are real and tough. I wish I had something funny to say about it. At least I’d know it wasn’t so serious then.

Real Husband and I have only been married close to four years. That’s not a long time at all. We are still learning and growing as a married couple. It’s a little tougher since I had Real Boy when we first started dating and he’d never had children. Then I was pregnant with Real Girl about a year into our relationship and BOOM! More major life changes. I’m pretty sure he was scared shitless.

So we are moving forward as a team. I cannot imagine my life without him in it. I don’t like that feeling of being out of control about how I feel about him. There have been days when I think I can’t be with him anymore. However, my heart won’t let me do it. Barring physical abuse or adultery, I’m in this shit to win it!

I’m sticking with this son-of-bitch whether he likes it or not. After all, it’s hard to be with someone as egotistical as me.

I'll be in back in full blown Facebook mode Monday. 'Til then, keep it classy Real Peeps.

A Letter to My 'Better' Half

A few days ago, I mentioned on my Facebook page the fact the Real Husband could be fired from his job. While this hasn’t happened yet, I am a whirlwind of emotions as I think about this possibility. I feel it will be me taking up the brunt of the work, but whom am I kidding? I usually am anyway.

 Let me start off this vent of a post with a quick disclaimer. I am in no way minimizing what Real Husband does for the family. He does a lot for us. He has practically remodeled our entire home, he performs car maintenance, and does all the yard work. He even picks up after himself and for this, I am truly grateful.

Now, down to what I really need to say. Here is a letter to Real Husband. (He won’t see this unless someone sends it to him. In that case, call the police ‘cause someone will get shanked.)

Dearest Real Husband,

The last three months have been the most challenging in a long while. You have wallowed in your sorrow and it’s time for you to get off your ass and get the fuck over it. You hate your job. I get that. Your bosses are assholes and they don’t appreciate what you do. While it would be grand to say, “Fuck you,” and walk away, it’s not the best idea.

First, I don’t want to be the sole breadwinner. That is not what I signed up for. Yes, I did promise for better or for worse, but seriously I’m already this close to a nervous breakdown.

Every day I wake up at 5:30 a.m. to get ready for work. Then I wake up the kids and get them ready. 75% of the time the mornings are like a scene out of Mother Dearest. I’m screaming, threatening and sometimes stomping my feet in frustration. I make all our lunches with two children asking me for a million things at six in the morning. I get them breakfast and pile them into the car. Sometimes, I drop off two sad, crying children and I have no choice but to leave them. There have been many mornings I cry in my car wondering where I’ve gone wrong with those two.

I get to work and this part isn’t so bad. That’s mostly because there is nothing to clean up or fights to break up. I am simply left alone to do my job. It’s kind of like a daily break. The only thing is I have a million lists running through my mind and thinking about the kids and how I can make them be good citizens. (Let’s face it, this is my only goal concerning parenting now.)

After work, I rush to pick up Real Boy because I can’t wait to see him. For five minutes, he’s so happy to see me and it’s a great five minutes. Of course that doesn’t last because I get home and here come the dogs vying for my affection and Real Girl starts climbing all over me (that part I don’t mind). Inevitably, the kids ask for a snack, a drink or some other arbitrary item. I tell them of course you can have XYZ once homework is finished. A fit ensues from one or the other and I’m left trying not to punch mother fuckers in the face. Instead, I sit Real Boy down to do his homework and find something for Real Girl to do so she doesn’t bother him. By the way, where the hell are you when this shit is going down? You’re like a fucking magician all disappearing and shit.

As Real Boy does his homework, I clean a little, helping him in between tasks. Of course the damn dogs are underneath my feet the entire time as I try to prepare dinner or clean up a little. Now, homework is done. Good right? Nope, now I have to talk to these damn kids and entertain them and shit. Fuck.

I just want to be left alone. Still, where the fuck are you? Oh yeah, wallowing in your misery about work and your hand. I know your carpal tunnel diagnosis has really left you feeling shitty. I mean you are the handyman of all handymen and not working with your hands is hard, but I am over here going crazy running around like a mad woman. I also know you busted your ass with little to no help remodeling our kitchen with a messed up hand and a stressful work environment. Still…

These last few months, I have been giving you the space you need. Letting you work this out. Taking it all on in an effort to alleviate some of your stress. I’m done. It’s my turn mother fucker.

With love and concern,

Christal

P.S. Thank you for the kitchen.

When Parents Get it Right

I have written blog posts criticizing other parents for their extreme or neglectful parenting. When I heard this story, I was so ecstatic to finally see a parent effectively parent her child. I mean, it was like a jump-outta-my-seat-and-prolongingly-applaud type of moment.

The advent of social media has opened up many avenues for our children to express themselves. Unfortunately, as children will do, they make poor decisions on what they post on social media sites. This particular mother was angry when she found out her 12-year-old daughter posted a picture of herself with a bottle of vodka on her Instagram account. As punishment, she required her daughter to post this pic:



I cannot say enough how appropriate this punishment is. It fits the crime perfectly. Instead of simply making her daughter delete the account, she decided to employ this tactic to teach her daughter how social media can affect your life. After 10,000 views on this picture the daughter has said she regrets posting the vodka photo.

Too many times, I see all these parents wishing to be their children's best friends. They "talk" to them and eventually the kid figures, "Well, all I'm going to get is a good lecture. May as well do what I want anyway." These children and parents go through life just coasting through waiting until the kid moves out of the house. Then the kid moves out and finds out the real world doesn't want to be your friend.

I've worked with theses kinds of people. They feel entitled to everything and don't put in the work. They don't care about consequences because it is a foreign concept to them. It's as though they are on a time delay to adulthood.

What's more interesting about social media and parenting today is we are the first generation to experience this issue. Parents just give their children smart phones with immediate access to media, texting, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and of course porn. I'm sure there are parents who limit this access, but kids are smart and will find a way around this. Children are required to register as sex offenders for sexting pictures of themselves. It is a life-long consequence people. Furthermore, many parents don't realize exactly what accounts their children have access to. Meanwhile, little Johnny and Britney are sharing photos of their wild nights drinking and smoking pot not realizing this could be around forever.

How do we fix this dilemma? Honestly, I don't have the answer. However, I think the first step is talking to your children about how far social media can reach. Show them stories like the one here. Maybe it takes humiliating them as this mother did. Whatever it is, you have got to do something, not just stand by idly and watch.


I hope other parents see this story and think about what their children are up to online. I hope they decide to monitor their children's media consumption as a whole. There are too many influential images, television shows and songs out there to not be aware of what your child does. Finally, I hope that parents will use appropriate consequences for their children's behavior rather than let it fall by the wayside.

What would you do if your child posted an inappropriate picture on a social media site?

Do You Really Wanna Know How My Kids Got Here?

A recent post on my Facebook page from Birth Stories on Demand engaged my brain and spawned this post. I always see other mom bloggers sharing their birth stories. I haven't done this because I haven't given birth in more than four years and quite frankly, who cares?

That said, that someone asked if I shared my birth story. While I never planned on doing this, I thought I would share, but from a different angle. Our current society has women feeling like assholes if they don't plan a natural birth. Moreover, many women have expressed that evil obstetricians are out to make them have their babies at the doctor's convenience.

I am not writing this as a champion of hospital births, but rather as a proponent of women choosing how to give birth. Obviously, it is each woman's choice to birth as she sees fit. However, many women feel ashamed of having c-sections or induced births. I constantly see online communities sharing birth stories of women having babies at home or in a birthing center. Everyone rallies around these women offering praise for their ability to have their babies without drugs or a hospital.

Conversely, I rarely see women who share their hospital births met with the same enthusiasm. When I do see a woman share her hospital birth story, it is often to lament about the awful nurses and uncaring doctors. Then, here come the women with the "I told you so," mentality. If it isn't natural. it isn't right.

Before I share these stories (I'll make them as brief as possible), I would like to say I am in favor of changing the way we all see birth. However, I think we can do this as a joint community of obstetricians, midwives and moms. I guess I'm saying, doctors should see how this is a natural process and the natural birthing community can see that it's okay to have a baby in a hospital.

When I was pregnant with Real Boy, I didn't even really care about a birth plan. I figured I would just go with the flow and if I felt I needed an epidural, I'd take it. I would listen to my OB and weigh my options should anything change as the process went on. A week before Real Boy's due date, I went in for a quick assessment on baby's progress. When the nurse measured my belly, she became a little concerned, so she did a quick ultrasound. Apparently, my belly had not grown and I was measuring behind. Of course I became worried, wondering what that meant. Real Boy was fine thankfully.

They discovered I had low amniotic fluid. Then I was worried all over again. We talked it over and she and the doctor decided they would induce me. I cried. A lot. I didn't want to have my baby yet. I had just started vacation for goodness sakes. I was very upset because I wanted to actually go into labor on my own. I talked it over with my then husband and we headed to the hospital. My doctor came in and explained to me that they would only apply Cervidil to soften my cervix and hopefully stimulate labor. Around 2 p.m. they administered it and around 3 p.m. I was having contractions. Small, but definitely contractions. My doctor told me they would not do anything else until the next morning.

At about 7 p.m., I was having full-blown contractions. Crazy. I kept thinking, "But he said I wouldn't have him until the morning!" My contractions were very strong and painful, so I decided that I wanted an epidural. Unfortunately, the anaesthesiologist was attending another patient, so I had to wait. I bared the pain and waited for a few hours, still no epidural. At about 10:30 the anesthesiologist came in and began to give me the epidural. Right as he inserted the needle, I had to push. I looked at the nurse and said, "I have to push. Like now!" I was in the middle of the epidural so I had to wait a few more minutes. In hindsight, the epidural was kind of pointless. As soon as I laid down, the nurse checked and sure enough, I was 10 cm. In came the doctor and five pushes later, out came Real Boy.

Real Boy came out screaming!

Overall, I feel I had a great birth experience despite my induction. I really owe most of that to my doctor who did listen to what I wanted and did not force me into anything. He was very calm, patient, kind and caring. The nurses were as well.
Real Girl's birth went almost exactly as Real Boy's. They both even weighed the same. I had low amniotic fluid at around 36 weeks. I was monitored twice a week and induced on her due date. The only difference was I had a midwife, I was given pitocin after breaking my water didn't work and while I had an epidural, I turned it down when it came time to push.

An hour after she was born.

I'm sharing this story because I truly feel it is up to you to be your own advocate whether or not you have your baby in a hospital, birthing center or at home. Listen to your gut. If someone tells you to do something you don't want to do, find another doctor or midwife. I am not trying to downplay any one's negative experience. I am simply trying to give a positive story on inductions since inductions have become labeled as the wrong way to have a baby. I hope this can give some insight to those who have to be induced. Of course, we all want our babies to make an appearance when they are ready, but at times there is no other choice.

As parents, things do not always go the way you planned. You just have to embrace it and put it behind you. Don't get hung up on the shoulda, woulda couldas or else you will live in a state of misery. There have been many things I thought I would do as a parent. The kids, on the other hand, had their own plans. Guess what? We are surviving and you will too.

8 Things You Should Never Say to a Working Mom

*This post was prompted by something someone said to me about working mothers a few days ago. A man nonetheless. I've been seeing all these lists of things like, '7 things to never say to a pregnant woman,' so I decided to do my own list about things you should never say to or around working moms.

When I became a mother, I did not have the choice to either stay home or work. I was enlisted in the Navy, so of course I had to do what they told me. After six weeks, I went back to work. It was tough and I cried leaving my newborn son in daycare. Luckily, I had very attentive caregivers who treated Real Boy like their own.

Honestly, I never even thought about staying at home. I don’t know why. I think much of it has to do with my mother’s influence. She was a great working mom who devoted all of her off duty time to us kids. It helped that she was a teacher so she maintained similar hours as ours. She worked her bum off to help support the family during times when my dad was laid off. I guess that was my norm and I was fine continuing working and entrusting the care of my babies to another.

Little did I know, people say some messed up shit about working moms. The bolder comments often are found online. Many people say simply to ignore those interwbz people. After all, it’s just online and their just trying to stir the pot. I say, “They are real people who are only saying how they really feel because no one can punch them in the throat when they're hiding behind a computer screen.”

The most awkward moments are when you have the chance to volunteer the daycare or school and you are in a group of women who are stay at home moms. Some of the things they say are very condescending and at times flat out rude concerning working moms. Please, know your audience ladies.

I know this is a topic that has been rehashed repeatedly, but bear with me here. That all said, here is a list of things not to say to a working mom:

1.       “Oh, I’m sorry you can’t stay home with your kids.” Bitch, why are you assuming all women want to stay home with their children? Furthermore, some women do not have that luxury of choice.

2.       “I could never leave my baby in daycare.” No shit. It’s hard. Thanks for reminding me.

3.       “I can’t believe your husband lets you work. My wife wanted to stay home to raise our baby. It’s better for kids to be home with their moms.” Mother fucker. I am going to rip your balls off.

4.       “Where are your kids when you go to work?” Really? I paid the homeless guy on the corner to make sure she doesn’t get into trouble. I'm sure she'll be fine. 

5.       “I’m going to such-and-such activity tomorrow morning. I wish you could go.” Are you trying to rub it in my face you have the luxury of choosing XYZ activity any day of the week? Thanks for the reminder I can’t do anything during the week.

6.       “You and your husband both work. You shouldn’t have that much housework to do since no one is home during the day.” Seriously? Laughable at best. Thanks again for minimizing what it takes to have two working parents, kids, a house, two dogs and a pile of laundry so fucking big I can’t see the top. I must look so small from atop your high horse.

7.       “Women should stay home and take care of the kids and house.” Usually muttered by a man. Again, I am ripping this mofos balls right off. Don’t you know women have been working since the beginning of time? This whole housewife/stay-at-home mom gig is a relatively new concept. Google it.

8. "I wish I worked so I could have another adult to talk to." Oh my. That's just sad. I'll give you that one. Frankly, I'm pretty sure most moms who work don't do it in an effort to climb the social ladder. Get a babysitter and go for coffee with a friend. At least that's what I'd do.

So that’s my list. Don’t say these things. Especially to me. It will make me kick you right in your junk or vajewelry box. I have also heard people say demeaning things about mothers who stay home. I don’t like that either because it makes me look like an asshole too. Until you know someone, keep your jackassery to yourself.

What kinds of things do people say that piss you off? Tell me in comments.

And We Have a Winner!

Congratulations to Amy Knoch! She wins the Mark Get Treatment Anti-Acne Overnight Fix and Juice Gems lip gloss. The winner will be contacted via e-mail within 24 hours.



Thanks to everyone who participated and I look forward to offering you guys more awesome products!

For more information on Mark products, check out chickey.mymarkstore.com/

And don't forget to like Meet mark. love mark. on Facebook!

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My job makes me thankful and no I'm not being sarcastic

I have an interesting job. I enjoy it for the most part. Of course, there are times I want to pull my hair out, but overall it is enjoyable. Not only do I make a pretty decent living and have a wonderful boss, I get to work with some amazing people.

It is hard to explain what I do for people who have never served in the military, so I’ll try to give a quick overview. When Navy service members become injured, they are placed in a limited duty status. Also, when a service member becomes pregnant, they are placed in pregnancy status. Since these members cannot stay on a ship, they are sent to our command for duty. This is where I come in.

I’m responsible for tracking these personnel and ensuring they are aware of their rights and responsibilities. It’s interesting to say the least. I’ve heard many woe-is-me stories. To be quite honest, I’ve become numb to many of the stories. However, several have left an impact on me. This is what I’d like to share with you. It is very humbling.

Perhaps the most memorable stories are those of young mothers faced with tough choices. It could be an important decision of whether or not continue their naval career or a heartbreaking decision to carry to term a sick baby.

I had a sailor who found out her child was missing a large part of his or her brain. As a result, she had to make the tough choice to terminate her pregnancy at 19 weeks. I could not believe how brave she was telling me her story. To top it off, she and her husband had been trying to have a baby for years. She felt heartbroken knowing that at 34, her childbearing years were closing in fast. I think of her often and wonder if she is okay.

I also had another sailor who came to our organization with a serious illness. She had Ulcerative Colitis. While being evaluated for a disability, she discovered she was expecting. She came in to tell me the news with a heavy look of worry on her face. Her doctors told her with the severity of her case, she could become very sick if she continued her pregnancy. After weighing her options, she also decided to terminate. I could see the pain in her eyes and I wished I could take all of her pain away. I also felt guilty for being able to have my children with little effort. I hope she and her husband have been able to find some solace in such harrowing times.

Perhaps the most heart-wrenching story comes from one of my sailors who was in a limited duty status. This gentleman was here for a minor injury. Nothing too serious. Luckily, he was fixed and within a few months, he was set to retire from the Navy. Unfortunately, he never had the chance to see retirement. Two days before returning to his wife and children (they’d been geographically separated for 18 months), he was found dead in his room. He had a pulmonary embolism. When I heard, I couldn’t believe this could happen to someone getting ready to start his life over. The grief his family must have had. Overwhelming. I cannot imagine.

This is the reason I wake up every day thankful my life is simple. All the problems I have are minute compared to others. There are days I want to junk punch people in the office, but then I hear stories like this and am happy I can be an ear for others to vent, a shoulder to cry on.  After all, I hope someone is there for me when I need it.

Giveaway: My Face Says Teenager, My Boobs Say 30-something

Adult acne. It's quite the embarrassing problem. Especially for me since I've never had acne. Of course I've had the occasional small breakout, but not full on acne. This whole thing started with the pregnancy and birth of Real Girl. I'm telling you, that girl stole all my beauty. Oh well, I passed it on to her so I'll just live vicariously through her.

That said, I was stoked when I saw Chelsea of Diamonds, Dog Tags & Diapers asking other bloggers to do a product review and giveaway. Initially, I thought I'd do one for the Mark makeup line to distract people from seeing the adult acne that detracted from my otherwise amazing visage. However, once I started researching the product line, I thought it'd be a better idea to use a product to actually fix the problem. Enter, Mark. And no, he's not my plastic surgeon.

This is my "Heck Yeah!" face.

Like I said, I didn't start suffering from acne until I was 30. That is so not the business. I've tried different lines of facial cleansing systems. I was this close to ordering Proactiv to alleviate my countenance's pimple parade. I was really getting tired of trying new products to help get rid of this humiliating problem.

The first night I used Mark Help Wanted , I immediately noticed it made my face feel softer. The face wash contains an exfoliating agent that helped resurface my skin. Initially, I thought it was because it was the first time I used it. After subsequent uses, I found it maintained the smoothness effect. One warning I'd give, is use this product sparingly if you have sensitive skin. It has the potential to over dry those with sensitive skin. I definitely noticed a difference in the occurrence of outbreaks.

The next step in this skincare regimen is the Get Treatment anti-acne overnight treatment. This is perfect for those zits that pop up out of nowhere. I admit, I am a major face picker when I get a pimple. This of course results in scarring. I hoped this product would help dry up those huge pimples and relieve my need to squeeze those ugly things. Good news. It worked! I was lucky enough to get a nice-sized pimple during my trial use of the product for this review. It shrunk that bad boy up like no other product I've tried. The only downside to this product was it dries very quickly and doesn't dry clear. I'm sure Real Husband found me very attractive with a face smeared with white, zit-zapping stuff on my face. I don't give a rip, it worked and that is all that matters.


Finally, I got the chance to use Mark Juice Gems lip gloss in Mango Tango. I'm typically not a fan of lip gloss because it is often sticky, smells too fruity and has an overwhelming taste. However, I found Juice Gems to give some moisture and nice hint of color. While this lip gloss went on sticky, it settled into a nice gloss that made my lips nice and kissable. Also, it is made with real fruit extracts so it has a subtle scent and taste of yummy fruit.

Yum!

So if you want to kick that adult acne's ass and have sexy lips check out the above products and more  here on the Mark website.

Even more cool stuff, one lucky winner will receive Mark Get Treatment Anti-Acne Overnight Fix and Mark Juice Gems Lip Gloss to try on their own by entering below on Rafflecopter.


Good luck! Entries will be received until 12 a.m. EST, Wednesday, May 17.

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Why don’t you want to have a girl?

Time and time again, I hear women bemoaning the fact they are having a girl. Many expectant parents often hope for the bundle of joy to arrive with a penis attached. I hear people say the thought of a girl scares them because girls are harder to raise than boys.

To those people I ask, “What the hell are you thinking?” Especially to women who express the desire to only birth boys. I want to throw up on their shoes (the kind that splashes up onto their ankles) when I hear this. 

As a woman, I can’t understand this. At all. After all, we were once embryos who formed into the less desired gender. I just don’t get what is so bad about having a girl.

I admit when I was pregnant with Real Girl, I did want to have boy because I thought it would be neat for Real Boy to have a little brother. Two boys. What could be cooler? Otherwise, I could not have cared less if the fetus growing in my belly also had her own uterus.

When women say they hope they have a boy, I don’t think they realize the implications this has for our young women. Placing the value of their child’s worth based on their reproductive systems is never good. Especially for our dear little girls.

What kind of society do we live in where we value our boys more over our girls? Girls should be celebrated just as much as the little boys who receive laud and praise when the ultrasound tech or doctor say, “It’s a boy!” When it’s a girl, these no-girl-wanting moms can become angry and feel inadequate. Why? You are a woman! Scream it to the mountaintops that you are bringing a beautiful girl into the world. A girl who can grow up to be just like her mother!

When a woman finds out she’s forming a penis inside of her crowded little uterus, it’s almost as if she’s proud that she could be the perfect wife to provide her husband with a son. She’s happy she doesn’t have to deal with the “drama” girls come burdened with. It as if they have won the ultimate trophy.  I just don’t understand it.

So far, my parenting journey has brought me to a place where I recognize how different boys and girls truly are. Real Girl is very different from her big brother. She is all girl and I wasn’t sure how to deal with it at first. Then I thought, “This girl is so fuckin’ rad!” Seriously, she’s brought me back to a time in my life when Barbie and Ken were the it couple. I’ve had the chance to give her the dolls I played with as a child and her Grammy has given her jewelry she had as girl.

I know some will say, “Well, you can do that with boys to.” Of course you can, but trust me it is not the same. The googly eyes Real Girl gets when I give her stuff that used to be mommy’s is one the most heartwarming moments I’ve experienced with her.  She looks up to me already. I wouldn’t trade that for all the money in the world. (Okay, maybe ALL the money in the world, but let’s just pretend.)

Women are people to be celebrated as well. So grab your girl and give her a hug. If you’re one of those ladies who only wants boys for silly reasons, think about it the next time you put your nose up in the air at the thought of a baby girl. You were a girl once.

A Letter to Octomom

The following is a letter to Nadya Suleman. I can't even begin to understand this woman. Typically, I try not to care about people like this, but all I can't think about are those kids. All 14 of 'em. Enjoy and pass it on. Maybe it will make it to her.

Dear Nadya Suleman,

You are still in the media? Since you have decided to allow the press into your life, I’m going to go ahead and jump onboard as well.

You have 14 children. You are a single mother. You have little to no support. You do not have a job. How in the world are you able to take care of these children? Even childcare centers have a caregiver to child ratio which is typically 5:1. There is no way in hell you are able to give your children the time and attention they need.

I thought about my current status as a working mother to two children. That alone is difficult. I spend 9.5 hours away from my children five days a week. That means they receive about three hours of my undivided attention each weekday. (Who am I kidding? I try hard to give them my undivided attention. After all, I still must cook and clean.) This isn’t really fair to my children to not give them what I can when I’m with them. I can’t imagine stretching myself between 12 more children.

To top that off, you have children with special needs. I’m assuming these children need more of your time and dedication. It’s as though you said, “Screw my first six kids. They don’t need me. I’m going for it. I’m getting pregnant again. Oh, there are eight babies in there? This must be what God wants so let’s shoot for the moon. It can’t be that hard right?”

You already had six kids. Six! By yourself. Weren’t you already tired? Or do you truly enjoy torture?

I’d like to know how in God’s name you can even defend your reasons behind having so many children without any means to support them. This baffles me. I only have two children and a husband and even I find it difficult to make ends meet.

Furthermore, your mental state is questionable. You make Kate Gosselin look like a saint. For that, I applaud you because that woman is crazy. It seems you are suffering from some sort of condition that causes you to be delusional. There is no other reason for anything you say.

In a recent interview with CNN, you said you need a job. Well, of course you do. You also wanted to know who would hire you because everyone hates you. It’s not that they hate you. Rather, they know they cannot pay you a salary that will allow you to support 14 children. Alone. Furthermore, you will never have enough sick days that 14 children will require.

Now your family is living day-to-day hoping to get a hand out. Guess what? There is only one person to blame for this. Nadya Suleman. Since you are unable to provide adequately for your children, they now have to deal with the ill decisions of their mother.

Delusional.

Why don’t you have a reality show yet? Oh wait. I know. I don’t think any network wants to work with someone who is truly crazy. The only acceptable crazy is Charlie Sheen crazy. At least his mental state can be attributed to excessive drug abuse.

Interestingly, I recently read you said you would now do porn. I say, do it. Immediately. Then, I read that you said, "The only flesh I'm touching is my own. I would never, never accept anything. I will not lose my grip of my deeply indoctrinated morals and values." What the hell does that even mean? (At least it explains your means of getting pregnant.) So you'll do porn, but not with anyone else because of your morals and values? At this point, your values are out the window as evidenced by this:

Your justification for having kids is, “Oh I just always wanted to be a mom.” You know, you could have just had one kid Nadya. Having kids requires more work than just wanting them. You have to have a way of supporting them. Unfortunately, that means you have to have money. Gasp! What a concept.

I’ll go ahead and say it. You’re about a dumb broad. I really want to give you a swift kick to the uterus for using such poor reasoning skills.

I will wish you luck in the coming years because your kids deserve a life with a mom (parent) that can fulfill all of their needs. Love ‘em all you want, but they need more.

I'll leave this with a quote from you, which I find terribly contradictory to every choice you've made in becoming a mother: "Every choice we parents make is going to significantly affect our children for the rest of our lives. It's going to haunt them forever. I have to be the ultimate positive role model."

I think you needed that advice 13 kids ago.


In my humble yet accurate opinion,

Christal, The Real Housewife of Santee